Saturday, May 17, 2008

ENOUGH!

I have written in the past about the angst I experienced when I stopped working due to intractable fatigue late last year. I questioned if I was giving up, giving in, or just accepting. That query is back, it has woken up to swirl in my head, most recently around dealing with fatigue because of something I saw in the store. Let me back up and explain before I begin my rant:

Once I stopped working, I removed the unrealistic demands made upon me by myself and others. Although fatigue is still very bad, it doesn’t aggravate me as much. When I’m tired, I can simply stop and lay down. I don’t have to push through tough meetings or deadlines or put all my energy into dealing with insecure empire-building executives or other big-headed jerks. I no longer have to push myself to the edge, and pump myself full of drugs just to get through the work day only to crash so badly that I can’t eat dinner (deficit spoon spending, as mdmhvonpa calls it).

I am happier now that I’ve simply slowed my life down to the pace that my body can handle. Naturally. I have accepted that there are limitations to my energy. However, all the doctors I see still continue to push me toward some sort of drug because my acceptance of this reality is not normal. The latest drug recommendation was caffeine. Yes, it’s a drug, it’s an upper, and it’s legal.

ENOUGH! I have accepted that any drug, prescription or natural, steals tomorrow’s energy for today. It doesn’t make my life better. It doesn’t improve my enjoyment of life. It just makes my body a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. It pushes me to keep up with someone else’s standards. ENOUGH I say!
Am I the only one who sees this? Am I the only one who believes this?
“Why am I venting about this?” you wonder.

Picture the drug store, the aisle where you pick up meds. The aisle was packed with a huge variety of ‘energy drinks.’ LOTS of energy drinks. Dozens of them. Power water, drinks to make you fly, drinks with monsters and lightning bolts. Drinks loaded with caffeine, sugar, guarna, vitamin B-12. Caffeine, nicotine, psuedophed, coke. There are well over 200 energy drinks on the market. TV advertisements are constantly pushing these drugs. Hot babes dance, hot dudes move, it’s a big rush, a big market.

Is this who we should aspire to be???
ENOUGH!
We as a nation, as a culture, are pushing the need for speed. I think this is wrong. It’s a wrong way of life. It’s a wrong message. It is wrong for me.

Photo credit from Energy Drink Review
http://www.bandddesigns.com/energy/arch/002768.php

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4 comments:

  1. Amen, Sister Joan!!! Well said and poignant. I, too, am struggling with the "take a drug" and feel better thinking...I'm thinking I feel better WITHOUT the drugs as well. Come what may, all any of us have is right NOW...and I can choose to live my NOW drugged or with the "bumps" that are obviously there for a reason (like fatigue, etc).

    Linda D. in Seattle

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  2. I love this Joan!!

    Although I do partake of a little modafinil on occasion to lift me through fatigue which is often relentless, I avoid using it daily anymore. On the days which I do not need to work I go it alone and sleep all day if I have to. It's tough to find balance sometimes.

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  3. Once I stopped working, I removed the unrealistic demands made upon me by myself and others. Although fatigue is still very bad, it doesn’t aggravate me as much. When I’m tired, I can simply stop and lay down. I don’t have to push through tough meetings or deadlines or put all my energy into dealing with insecure empire-building executives or other big-headed jerks. I no longer have to push myself to the edge, and pump myself full of drugs just to get through the work day only to crash so badly that I can’t eat dinner (deficit spoon spending, as mdmhvonpa calls it).

    I am so with you sistah. "I am happier now that I’ve simply slowed my life down to the pace that my body can handle. Naturally. I have accepted that there are limitations to my energy. However, all the doctors I see still continue to push me toward some sort of drug because my acceptance of this reality is not normal."
    It is time that we gave up fear, gave up judgement and stopped to smell the roses. I now know what really matters and if I want a nap then I'll have a nap.
    "If you want to sing out sing out
    If you want to be free be free
    Cause there's a million thing to do
    You know that there are" (Cat Stevens)
    Love your mind,
    Nadja

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  4. Heyyyy, man. Dont harsh my caffeine mellow, eh?

    Now, just take a pinch of coffee grounds between the cheek and gum ... but dont spit.

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