Wednesday, December 17, 2014

And So I Choose... Sad

This is a reprint of a post from last December.  Please read all the way to the end before posting a comment telling me not to be sad; the punch line explains the title.  Happy and healthy holidays to everyone!

Oh, Christmastime. So full of merriment.  Parties with lots of people, houses dripping with decorations, wrapped presents under trees and in stockings.  Gatherings, caroling, late nights.  What’s not to love?

Well, let me tell you…

Christmas involves activities that I find exhausting, like shopping for presents. When I simply go grocery shopping, I have to put my list in order by aisle to conserve my energy.  God forbid if the store moves any products around or if labels change (“same product, different look”), then I'll be so worn out that I can do nothing else the rest of the day.  So you won’t find me wandering around a shopping mall unless I’m already at the mall and forgot why I’m there. I get confused and cranky and invent creative cuss words. Then my head pops off.

Then there’s decorating the house.  Decorating usually involves some degree of rearranging furniture which then requires cleaning or at least dusting.  Oh, and what goes up, must come down in January.  Where’s the fun in that? Decorating just turns me into a mercurial super-villain, the likes of which would intimidate Godzilla. 

Now let’s talk parties.  I love my friends, but not all at once. All the noise and stimulation, no matter how much fun, produces an unpleasant physical reaction that sort of feels like porcupines running up and down my body, and bones turning to rubber.  Then I turn into the Hulk.
So at this time of year, I have some choices.  I can go to the parties and be around lots of people and then feel like I’ve been blindsided by a sumo wrestler.  I can decorate the house and then implode.  I can shop for presents and then have my body turn to rubber.  I can do these things and turn into a monster from fighting exhaustion and collapse in tears of self-pity.  Or I can limit my holiday activities and feel left out of all the fun, which makes me a little sad.

So I have to choose between turning into a fatigue-induced monster or being a little sad from missing out. 

So I choose sad.  It’s safer.  You’re welcome. 


  1. As another who has chosen sad - we can sit and be quiet and it can still be a happy (non sensory overloaded) holiday! :)

  2. I'll just say you do not need to have MS to feel this way. I've been scaling back and I'm beginning to enjoy the holidays a bit more.

  3. Thanks for your comment, Anne. I agree that this is not just an MS thing. Glad you are enjoying the season!